Why should YOU change???

"Can't you behave like this for me, dear???"

"I expect you to change just this much for me, can't I?"

"I thought you'd love me enough to do at least this for seeing me happy, but now I realize that I don’t mean anything for you... :( "

These are just a sample few of the so very common situations I have seen people encountering (along with me of course at times as one of the sufferers). Why does one need to change for others? (Before answering love & respect & some other heavy weighted terms, just rethink again…) I agree that as social beings we need to evolve over a period of time; that we need to improve and grow. But why this forceful evolution of ourselves?

Who says that it is mandatory, if you are a part of the social jungle, to keep on changing yourself as and when it suits the wishes of near and dear ones of yours. But I raise a very fundamental question - if some one is really close to you, the person feels you close as a whole entity, or that is what should be, otherwise I don’t think it is actual closeness. Then why is it that one feels the burden of changing their persona (becoming something which they aren’t) just because it might not be in the picture perfect of the image which others have hold for you. What is the guarantee that tomorrow, the same person might not wish to see you again in some different dress?

As a human being when we are born, we don’t have a shape of one’s Self. Over a period of time, we evolve into something which was the result of an entire process of evolution, (and which is again an ongoing process). When earth as a planet evolved, we realize that it came in its present shape because of the all the special combination of components which must have been present at that time. What would have happened to earth if some kin or parent or spouse (or even parents-in law) of earth had come interrupting its process and putting their own demands in shaping? It would have been a totally different earth then what we see it today. I am not arguing whether it would have been better or worse - just different....

As a human being undergoing a similar process, all that I demand is that let me under go my own process of evolution. I am different from any other living or non existing creature, so there is no use comparing me to anyone else. Also similarly there is no use of wanting me to become something else. Even if I try, the end result in all possibilities might be even worse then what it is today.

No, I don’t mean in any ways that we should be closed to suggestions. Everyone in justifiable role has the right to give a frank opinion and advice as and when one feels that it might be beneficial for other’s growth. That is the true sense of being a social creature. What I am opposing is the emotional blackmailing which one thinks might be a useful tool in shaping other person into something which either in one’s course of evolution s/he can’t become or else with all his/her consciousness doesn’t want to become.

Don’t force on me or any other being something just because you want to see it in him or her. Rather gift that person an honest and friendly opinion.

For those, who follow others and let their course of lives be governed by them, just one statement - I am what I am and am proud for the same. If I follow what you want me to become, tomorrow, I might not remain what I am today too…